Well looks like I offended everyone, even Lizzie and I didn't even hack the election!
If you're offended I'd like to send you a gift of apology. Send me your address and I'll send you a big crate of TWO, that's right, TWO residents of Bingbong china, that are obviously not spies interested in talking you into running for political office (obviously!). These two BingBongians will happily fulfill your every wish. Especially if your name is anything close to "Eric" or "Swalwell".
Just write your address on the back of any dirty $20 bill and send it to:
Fet Chmia Pep-Si
42 Ho Chi Min Trail
WalaWalaBingBong, Tai Chi, 66666
Free Country of North Vietnam
(Not affiliated with China, Inc or it's subsidiaries...No, really we promise!)
I eagerly await your response, honorable friends!
<---- Join us for dinner!