No no no, Mike! Here's whatcha do. (chews toothpick)
First you getcha some marvel mystery oil. Squirt exactly half a drop in each spark plug hole.
Then ya getcha 1 big wrench. A plumber's wrench is good for this.
Finally, you getcha a pipe. About 12 foot long is good.
Now you put the wrench on it so the handle points up to 12:00. Poke the pipe on the end of the wrench handle.
Now go out to your pickup and get a rope. You need a good stout one. Tie that rope real good to the trailer hitch and the top of that pipe. Tie it good or it'll slip down and just pull the wrench off and you won't get to experience the wonders of modern fisicks.
Ok, back up now until there's just about a foot of slack in the line, then
NAIL IT!
I mean just jump on that accelerator. You should hear all four wheels squeal in a 2wd truck. If not, you did it wrong and i can't be held responsible for any damage done to your engine. Don't use a 4wd. They're made to fix snow and dirt, which won't help with engine repair.
That should crank it right over like pull starting a lawn mower. It'll start up and run like a top.
Good luck! Have the wife make a video of the whole thing too so we can see how it goes!
